On the first day, God created the dachshund
and He saw that he was good.
On the second day, God created man, and
well, God was not impressed.
On the third day, God and the dachshund met
to decide what to do with the man and they
determined he should be the daschunds servant.
On the fourth day, God and the dachshund
trained the man to get food, get water and to
make a fuss over the dachshund.
On the fifth day, the dachshund said to God,
"Hey, Big Guy, this is kind of fun to be waited
on hand and foot, but what's next?" So God
created woman. That same day, God and the
daschund began the woman's training. She was
trained to tell the man exactly when to get the
water and when exactly to get food so that
God and the dachshund would not have to be
On the sixth day, the woman found some
apples and told the man to take them to the
daschund. The daschund, on seeing the apples
said, "Hey! Those are God's apples off His
tree, we are not supposed to eat them!" The
man said, "OK, I will eat them myself!" And he
did and he shared them with the woman. Well,
God got pretty ticked and He threw the man
and woman out of the area. And God was left
alone with the dachshund.
On the seventh day, God thought about taking
a rest, but the dachshund was hungry and
thirsty and God had to get up early to take
care of the dachshund because the man and the
woman were gone.
Once God got used to getting up really early
to tend to dachshunds needs, things settled into
a sort of routine. God would get up, dig the
dachshund out of its warm burrow in the clouds
and take the dachshund to an area to take care
of business. This is where hail comes from.
Later, God would find the dachshund food and
feed it from His own hand and give the dachshund over to the angels with which to play.
The dachshund would race back and forth over
the clouds with the angels in tow, racing here
and there and tearing up the sky. This is where
tornadoes come from; from dachshunds running
back and forth over the tops of the clouds.
In the evening, after the dachshund was really
tired after playing with the angels, God would
take it back into His bed, burrowed in the
clouds. But the dachshund always wanted a
night light on. This is where sunsets come
from; the dachshund night light.
And God has been looking after little
dachshund ever since.